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Self Concept Essay

866 words - 4 pages

In Carl Rogers’ view regarding personality development is the idea of self-concept. According to Rogers, self-concept is the most vital character of personality. Self-concept is defined as "the organized, consistent set of perceptions and beliefs about oneself". It includes all the thoughts, feelings and beliefs. The self is who we really are as a person.  It is our inner personality that is influenced by our life experiences and our interpretations from those experiences. The two main sources that affect and influence our self-concept are experiences we had from our childhood and the evaluation of other people. Rogers’ humanistic approach states that the self-concept has three ...view middle of the document...

Incongruence, on the other hand, is when some of our experiences are unacceptable or distorted in the self-image. If one’s self-concept is based on the values of other people, it can lead to incongruence. Rogers stated that parents promote incongruence when they give their children conditional love. If a parent accepts and shows love only when the child behaves in a particular way, then the child is more likely to block out experiences that are considered unacceptable by his/her parents.
The subject of personality development and self-concept is something I can strong relate. I had been through a lot growing up and incongruence has always been present for me. In a culture like mine where affection is not shown and children are scolded for acting like children, I grew up not feeling loved by my parents. Additionally, one of my parents had a drinking problem and never showed unconditional love, which greatly affected my self-esteem. As I was growing up, food started to become my best friend. I ate away my loneliness up the point where at age 13, I was 110 lbs. overweight. Instead of being encouraged to lose weight, I heard hurtful things from my parents instead about my extra weight. Needless to say, the perception of my self-image was nothing but negative. For a long while, I stayed stagnant, focused on self-pity and let myself go. My ideal-self back then was not very ambitious. It took a while and a lot of therapy for me to realize that I am my own person and that I cannot blame my parents for how I turned out. I am an adult child of an alcoholic who is trying to better myself. ...

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