1.1 Personal Response to the Essay
= 50 %
Thought and Detail
Explora on of the topic is insigh ul
Voice is convincing
Percep ons and/or ideas are conﬁdent and
Stylis c choices are precise
Crea on of tone is adept
Precise support aptly reinforces ideas and
Uniﬁying eﬀect is skillfully developed
Explora on of the topic is purposeful
Voice is dis nct
Percep ons and/or ideas are ...view middle of the document...
Contact your teacher to discuss sugges ons for improvement and
resubmission of your work.
Areas of strength:
You make an effort to complete the assignment and you
right very passionately about your ideas.
Might I suggest:
Your writing has many problems which make it difficult to
follow your ideas. Your thesis is not clear and many ideas
are off topic and do not relate to "Ring Rage". Your support
is weak and not specific. I would strongly recommend you
review proper sentence structures in our Canadian Writers
Handbook (pages 117-118).