The Journey to Oblivion and Back
Background: I’m 20 years old, male, and a junior college. Outside of smoking pretty often, I’ve done ecstasy, shrooms, and 2c-I, all once and spread out by 6 and 9 months respectively. I read that 2c-c was fairly mild, so I decided to take 50mg alone. This would reportedly give me a calm, easy going trip. How wrong these reports turned out to be.
Part I: The Beginning of the End (T+000)
Planning to walk around in the woods, I take the self-prepared capsule at around 3 in the afternoon on a Friday. After about 30 minutes, I leave my dorm and head towards my destination. The come up is extremely jarring. Instead of a smooth gradual immersion ...view middle of the document...
All the while, I am dissolving into an unknown existence, scared because I have nobody with me who can really understand. I smoke in the bathroom to ease the nausea, and soon after, the ceiling starts morphing. I call my good friend J, who has drug experience as well, and tell him I’m going to need somebody. I leave the dorm, and as I walk down the stairs, I can feel them moving beneath my feet.
Part II: The Dream (T + 1h30m)
I find myself lying in a field by one of my school’s dining halls. Life is merely a dream to me now. There are people all around me going about their business, and here I am, melting into the earth. All my senses are crisscrossing. My body doesn’t feel like my own anymore. When I touch something, it feels as if an echo of myself is touching it. My mental facilities are breaking into pieces. I would describe the experience as trying to put a puzzle together, but the picture keeps changing and the pieces keep shifting around. I put earbuds into my ears, but my ears don’t seem to belong to me. Music is intense. I’m not able to localize the sound, but instead, the sound creates a vast landscape. I look at the mostly clear blue sky and notice that it is breaking into fractals. I am disassociating from reality. The thought crosses my mind that I could easily walk in front of a car and not care if it hits me. My inner consciousness, despite being in some unknown location, is still intact enough to know that this would be bad. It is then that J finds me. I’m ecstatic that he’s here. I attempt to communicate with him and bring him into my world, but this ends in failure. J tells me I am completely coherent, but I feel like I am rambling, delusional, and unable to make sense. My voice doesn’t seem to be mine anymore. I roll around in the field, marveling at the sensation of putting grass in my mouth.
I get up and start walking with J. It feels like he’s been with me a long time, but it has only been about five minutes. The body load is intense. I marvel at the world and how distant I am from it. Everything is shifting around me. Colors are changing, the ground is breathing, trees are swimming, and I am having fun. We go exploring for a bit. I find an interesting spot behind a dorm. Some girls spot us and laugh. To them I am probably just a goofy drunk. We find a hill and collapse on the wonderful feeling earth. The small amount of walking has been exhausting to me. I have an overwhelming desire to be close to somebody. Holding onto J, I am filled with a sense of relief. I roll down the hill.
J and I and walk to another hill nearby. The whole area seems huge. I walk around as J talks on the phone, believing that I have put a fair distance between the two of us. To my surprise, I turn and see that he is still close by. I attempt to convey what is happening to me, but again, I can’t. Feeling defeated, I decide to listen to music. Sitting with J, the music fills with me a sense of...