SXS/SPY 320, Fall 2014
Is a Bad Kisser a Deal Breaker?
He turns her towards him, looks into her eyes with a slight smile. He bends towards her and their lips meet. All of a sudden, he starts kissing aggressively. She feels something wrong. The kiss is wrong. It gradually becomes a sloppy, wet and gooey kiss. She has thought he was perfect, but for the first time ever, she ends up dating a bad kisser. This half-way romantic scene seems to happen with a lot of people. Some agree that bad kissers do not work out for them, or they cannot maintain a long term relationship because of the lack of chemistry. However, I personally would not break up with a potential partner if he ...view middle of the document...
The article also points out that most of the time an hourglass figure, which is a narrow waist, hip and butt are almost equal size, is considered to have the most magnetic effect on men (Class reader, p.69). I experienced this type of attraction when I first dated my ex-boyfriend four years ago. Frankly, he was really bad at kissing. My first kiss was not as sweet and perfect as what I have seen in a dramas; it was extremely sloppy. It was not all pressed up against me, like it should have been. However, it did not affect my relationship at all. His kissing was not really a way to turn me on. The most arousing part that made chemistry between us was his hands. Whenever he touched me by his hands, no matter how bad the kiss was, I always felt butterflies in my stomach. People are attracted to each other in different ways. While the lips seem to dominate other sensitive senses, we cannot deny that hearing, visualizing, and touching are also essential senses to stimulate chemistry between couples.
Despite the fact that kissing is a good way to keep people fall in love, conversation is more effective if someone wants to keep a long term relationship. There is no point of dating a good kisser but there is a broken connection between two people? In the article “Hold me tight” by Sue Johnson, the writer says that “disconnection has a huge impact on the shape of relationship” (Elia/Chen, p.17). It jeopardizes our sense of security. In contrast, being attached to someone provides our greatest sense of security and safety. We cannot deny the power of the kiss. When two partners are kissing, they exchange testosterone, which helps trigger the sex drive (Elia/Chen, p.12). Basically, what kissing does is that it excites people’s sexual libidos. Yet, an interesting fact found that kissing is the best way to end a fight (Elia/Chen, p.12). However, can people be able to keep calm and kiss their partners after having a fight? Most of the time, the answer is no. I have noticed my parents so many times after they have a big fight. No one wants to talk to each other. They even hate seeing each other’s faces, and kissing is too unrealistic to mention. The best way to make up after arguing is that partners need to sit down and have a serious conversation. If they don’t, they will experience a primal feeling of panic, which sets off alarm in the brain’s amygdala. Once it sends out an alarm, we enter the state of monotony (Elia/Chen, p.16). Monotony leads to boredom; if a relationship gets boring, we can almost expect to generate problems, or even further, lead to divorce (Lecture, 10/06/14). Generally, kissing is not the only way to maintain a relationship but connection is the powerful key.
Despite of terrible kissing techniques, personality is another crucial factor in order to find your Mr. or Ms. Right. If a potential partner is...