Coding exercise to be done together
Literally minutes after the wedding I saw something change in him, almost like a dark cloud had come over him. I felt an awful fear when I looked at him, but thought it was just wedding jitters. From that point on, he was different. Our whole honeymoon he was in a bad mood and very short-tempered. When we returned and were packing to move to a new state, he became enraged over something and started screaming obscenities, throwing things at me, and saying he wished he had never married me. This was after 6 days of marriage, and it was just the beginning. From that point on he was this strange new man, Dr. Jekyll and ...view middle of the document...
But I continued to stay, always praying, always hoping that he would change back into the man I had known before we were married. I thought, he hasn't hit me, so it's not that bad, I can stay.
For years during our marriage I went to counseling off and on and begged him to come with me, but he wouldn't. He said the problems in our marriage were because of me, that he didn't have a problem. That he got angry because of what I did or how I was; if I would just be better, than he wouldn't have to get angry. So I fixed his favorite gourmet meals, cleaned the house, said the right things and tried to change myself, thinking he would stop being angry. But he always found something else to be angry about. I also spoke with people in the church about what was going on and the response was always to pray about it and try to be more "submissive". During this time I slipped further and further into depression, often feeling suicidal, and also shared this with people in the church. Again, they just prayed, and said God would work it out. This was another area where he was abusive, spiritually, often saying 'Why would God answer you? Look at you! You're so horrible, God wouldn't talk to you. You're in sin and God won't bless you. He blesses and uses me all the time.' For some time this destroyed my faith and relationship with God to the point where I stopped praying or trying. I started to believe that God saw me this way and that I must deserve his (my husband) abuse since I'm a "bad person".