Where do I begin? I want to say that I am sorry for all the hurt and pain that I have caused you. I wish I could say that it was unintentional, but I cannot. I was a foolish person and I am admitting that now.
I am writing you now not because I want to ask for your forgiveness. I know that it is a tall order to ask , but I must. It took me a long time to forgive myself for what I have done and my foolish actions. I wish that I could say that there was a valid reason behind the things I did but none that would justify my actions. I was very selfish and uncaring in my behavior.
The first time we spoke I was intent on being your big sister and protecting you in any situation. I later found myself becoming jealous of your time you had with our father. Later I ...view middle of the document...
No matter what you may feel about me, if you feel anything at all, I truly am sorry for what I did to us. I just did not know how to stop the lies without hurting you. I want to say that I am sorry for all that I have done to you.
I have spent many years feeling guilty about not being able to talk to you. I have also lived a angry life full of mistrust and self loathing. I have a conscious and it is compelling me to do the only thing that I can do to try to correct the wrong I have done.
There is another reason why I have written this letter and it is because I do not want to live on the wish factor anymore. I do not want to wish that you and I were still talking. I want to be able to say that I did a terrible wrong but I apologized for it. I do realize that it is up to you, if you want to forgive me or not. Either way you decide I will face it and accept your decision.
This letter is confirmation that I take full responsibility for me hurting you. I wanted to write it down. I find that writing for me helps to put all my feelings into prospective. I refuse to live another day of not owning up to my wrongs.
I hope that you would be able to find it in your heart to forgive me and talk to me. I am really ashamed that it took me so long to ask. I am not a perfect person and my intention is not to harm you in any way, shape or form. When I came back from Georgia you told me once that I should not expect you to spend time with me because I had left you. I would hope that you would have some small part of your life that you would be willing to share with us. I will close this letter and hope to hear back from you sometime in the future. If you choose not to address this letter I will no longer bother you. I do not want to push you into any form of anger. Be blessed.