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3 Theories Of A Marriage Essay

1055 words - 5 pages

Saying “I do” to your mate the right way
Everyone eventually meets the man or woman of their dreams. Whether it’s online or in your local grocery store, everyone is bound to meet their perfect match. According to Harville Hendrix, the author of the article The Mystery of Attraction, he mentions that there are three theories that he has noticed or have looked more into and he also has his own theory. The three theories that he mentions are as follows: biological theory, exchange theory, and the persona theory. When it comes to his own theory, Hendrix states that of the conscious theory. Although Hendrix provides in depth detail of the three theories, I do not agree in those theories ...view middle of the document...

The second theory Hendrix explains in detail is that of the exchange theory. He clarifies that the selection of our mates is determined by the equivalence of our choices. We focus more on the physical appearance rather than the personality he/she portrays. I have noticed that a lot in my eighteen years of life. A lot of my former friends and classmates would say, “Oh, he/she is hot, I am going to go for him/her!” They already pick out their “future” boyfriend/girlfriend at first sight. They try to get that guy/girl as close as to themselves as they can! Some go to extreme measures like the story my friend told me. This story was about a guy who carefully picked out his girlfriend on the beautiful qualities she possessed. He was dumbfounded on the perfect qualities she portrayed when they hung out. As he got to know her more, she was not as what she seemed to be. He realized that the beauty she possessed on the outside was not as pretty on the inside. She acted very horribly to him and treated him like he was garbage. After that, he focused more on the personality of a girl, rather than the beauty. Going off that story, I disagree with the exchange theory because if you go off this theory, it will lead to the destruction of love.
The third and final theory that Hendrix concludes with is that of the persona theory. This theory states that whoever your mate is they should boost up your self-esteem when you are seen with this person. A persona, which is a second image we portray to other people, comes in effect when we are with our soul mate. We act a certain way around our boyfriend/girlfriend, but when we are around other people or in public, we tend to have a second personality towards them. It is sort of like a two faced person. Society likes to see an all-around good person in public. They do not like to see a person who is contradictory towards themself. Not being yourself is making yourself seem that you are not confident with your...

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